The Demonstration

It is a cool winter evening in the open. People have started to gather in groups. They are coming from their office after a hard day's work. The tiredness is showing in their slow lumbering walk. Yet there is a sparkle in their eyes. They have suffered for last so many years without any murmur. They were unable to even mumble under the breath. For years they have gone through the routine of the eleven hour working days. For years they have turned deaf to the voices of the tiny ones requesting them to attend their school functions so that they can proudly stand by them and bask in the glow of safety and love of their parents. For years they have forgotten the small talks with their wives over the cup of evening tea. For years they have forgotten to say no to invectives of their superiors . For years they have forgotten to protest, leave alone oppose, inhuman treatments and become willingly submissive . They are too timid to fight and too insecure to run. The heat inside is unbearable and the heat outside is scorching.

To-day they have come. They do not understand the intricacies of politics. They are not interested. They are simple people going with daily chores of life without any remorse or hope. They have simple pleasures and simple needs. They have simple skills. They want to work with them to earn enough to feed their family and enjoy a cosy living like the pompous cock with the kids roaming around. They have been denied. They don't have any great chance of finding it elsewhere after spending all these years in this place. They have become prisoners of their choice without a chance to escape.

To-day they have come to speak in the secured anonymity of the crowd. They do not want their individual voices to be identified. They are afraid of the consequences that may befall them . They do not want to face the burning stare of the boss. But they want to shout at the peak of their voices in the gathering to exorcise the pain they are carrying for years. Does any body hear ? It hardly matters for them. Their leaders have told them it will change if they shout. They do not know. They do not trust the sayings as they do not remember how many times they have kept to their utterings and how many times they have traded the principled stands. Yet they have come. They do not know if there is any result at the end. They just want to throw out the pains as they shout vitriolic slogans. They just want to cleanse themselves of all the pain of indignities they have suffered for years. They want to shout at the perpetrators from the safety of faceless crowd the choicest abuses that they have received for years. They do not want to pay back in revenge. They just want to throw out the pain, the abuses and the sufferings. They want to feel clean and spent to be able to start again.

The slogans are being shouted in unison. The leaders at the front are orchestrating it in a musical way. The voices don't show the faces. They rise like faceless waves. The poison inside is coming out. They are feeling relaxed. They are pretending to listen to the speeches being poured out of the podium.They do not care. They just want to shout and come clean so that they can start afresh after the release of the tension. The pile up inside need a release as otherwise they may burst at the seams. They want to live for another day.

They have dispersed without a trace. They have gone back to their little lives. They are tired after the release. They need a rest to start again.

Life

Every day morning you find people hustling and bustling, trying to cope up with their life. If you stand for a while on a spot near a square and look around you at the face of people rushing around you, you will have a hearty laugh merely watching them proceed with all the solemnity and seriousness as if to catch the most important thing in life. Then you find them collecting a pouch of milk from the diary vendor and rushing back with the same seriousness. You don't know why they have to look that dignified and bloated. Possibly leading a life is serious proposition and taking it lightly will look blasphemous.

Life is to make the stay on earth lively and do we not spoil it by all our confused ideas of dignity and seriousness ? Can we not just play the game and enjoy each moment as we turn and twist in a fluid motion. The motion itself can make our heart dance in joy . It can bring back long forgotten tunes to our lips. If words we can not remember still we can whistle the tune and tap our feet in a comic resemblance of a dancer and burst out laughing like a kid recognizing the folly and enjoying the mistake simultaneously. May be we are too busy looking for the moment of joy, the moment of achievement, the moment when everybody will look at us enviously for what we have in that moment to overlook the hours and days we spend in moving towards the moment. We choose to look for the moment and spoil the hours, days , months and years. Is it not more prudent to make the journey more enjoyable ? Do we have to struggle with the pain and perspiration only with the hope to enjoy the moment at the destination ? Is it necessary to gloss over the pleasures of travel and to preserve the memories of destinations ?

Frankly, I do not know. To each his own. To me let the journey be enjoyable. Each moment on the road is a destination and let me enjoy it for the moment I am on it. The life will be lively. That is perhaps the purpose.

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HAPPINESS

Sometimes you want to go reading through the thoughts of others and then you find yourself carrying a bit too much for comfort and want to drop  some of it  for others to carry on. This is one of those times. I am wondering what is happiness and why we all want it. It appears the answer is peeping out of the question itself. It is actualizations of our desires. Desires are plenty and hardly one can satisfy all of them. But the pursuit of the same and the walk on the course is a favorite life work for most. Our desires are most pressing when they concern our physical entity and most of us keep on accumulating objects of desire in a wanton manner without so much as thinking of testing it. Possibly acquiring itself becomes the desirable object and not so much as getting to use it. Once we own something we mostly assure ourselves that now that we have it we may get something else as we can always use the thing in our possession at anytime. This constant desire to accumulate makes us to be on look out for new possessions always. By the time we pause, out of exhaustion and tiredness, to look at our possessions we find ourselves incapable of using them or may be our taste for them has died. This brings us to frustration and unhappiness.  The pursuit  ends in failure.

This reminds me of the beautiful story I read somewhere in which the God allows two good men to his beautiful orchard with the condition that they have the full day to themselves to enjoy themselves in it. One of them went on searching for the most tasteful fruit and by the end of the day returned without tasting a single fruit as he was always looking for the more tasty one when the evening came. The other one tasted whatever came his way and ate only the ones he felt like taking. By evening he had a belly full and was more than satisfied.

Does it tell us to make the best of the available opportunities life presents us without worrying for hypothetical better opportunities ? Or does it tell us to live in present ? To embrace now here lest we end up no where ? I do not know. Look for yourself.

GLOBALISATION

In a uni-polar world gradually all the countries barring very few like Cuba are integrating the capitalist economic models with the country specific political models. It is an often quoted comment that the world has enough to cater to the needs of its inhabitants but not enough to provide for the greed. Greed can be attributed to the insecurity prevalent in the society which drives people to seek security in accumulation. This is a characteristic feature of the capitalist economic model as it propagates a free for all competition without creating any distinction between  the  players  on the  basis  of  there  inherent  strengths.  The  categories made in the boxing and wrestling competitions provide some amount of level playing field by insisting on having categories on the basis of body weight. However there is no such protection for small players in the capitalist economic model which proclaims the savage principle of big fish eats the small fish as model conduct. To conceal this savagery invariably the proponents highlight it as free and equal without showing the inequality ingrained in this equality. As such the big fish grow bigger while eating the small fishes. Unfortunately  unlike with  the fishes where once the big fish eats the small fish it reduces the number of the small fishes and the story ends, the destroyed economic activities of the small players increase the number of the poor while creating a small number of extremely rich people. Hence it is in built in this type of model for the rich to become richer and the poor to become poorer. This inevitably strains the social fabric and create rebellious and violent forces destabilizing the polity. This has been witnessed in all  the capitalist countries in the past where the established political structure is overwhelmed with the economic disparities every  now and then. Political stability could only come to these countries when they subjugated and exploited other countries by force to provide enough to there deprived class of citizens so that they do not rebel even when they are poor as they are richer than the citizens of the subjugated and exploited countries. This also gives a hegemonistic power to these people as there countries ensured better terms of business for them in international trade by virtue of there power and ability to influence the norms of trade. This is an essential and substantial disadvantage to the countries who became independent after years of foreign rule.In the international trade every body is equal but some are more equal than others. This explains the recent nationalistic fervour seen in the capitalist countries for creating protectionist barriers against free trade and free movement of goods and services. it is likely to grow in coming days in view of the nature of economic model of these countries.
                 The economic power of these extremely rich people of these countries give them an insormountable advantage and rarely if ever a David comes up to challenge these Goliaths.The competition becomes even more lop sided as the Goliaths as a class gang up against the David. The only way is the David's way that is new and better technology. This shows why these countries have ruled the economic world save when other countries have challenged them with better innovation, better assimilation and better processing structure in production. In the knowledge world it is a relay race and the next generation starts from where this generation stops.However increasing threats of challenges have driven these countries to create barriers in free flow of knoweledge in the form of intelectual property rights, so that the backward and developing countries can never challenge the supremacy of these entrenched powers as they will not get the frontline technology and even when they get it they will have to pay out of their hard earned wealth a share to these countries as royalty. This way they can continue to keep there poor at a reasonable level of poverty reducing there potential to create disturbances in the political structure.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        These countries used the natural resources of the world indiscriminately for a century to produce goods for there conspicous consumption in a brazen display of political and economic power they enjoyed. This made the earth poorer and the natural resources got depleted. This inevitably has culminated in the developing countries not getting adequate inputs for there economic growth as they started late. These inputs have also become dearer because of the limitation of availability. Not satisfied with this much of hurdles these countries now shout from the roof top that the use of these resources should now be curtaled by fiat concealed in agreements so that the economic hegemony of the powerful countries can be protected for another century at least.
                                                                                                       These resources provide for the basic needs of the people in poor countries like food material, drinking water, inputs for residential structure and clean air. The food and inputs for construction of residential accomodations were available at a localised price earlier making it affordable. Now in a globalised scenario these poor people will have to compete with the money bags "freely" which will increase the prices and take it above their reach. Even when they will get it they will have to pay through their nose for these basic needs. I do not want to forecast any thing about a time when people will have to pay for drinking water and clean air in these countries. This will inevitably affect the savings and investment and capital formation of these people and their countries.

However the introduction of capitalist models in these countries will make the powerful rich of these countries to adopt the methods of profit maximisation by reducing employment and reducing the payment for labour per hour. The common people will have to work for longer hours per day to feed to the greed of the capitalists of there own country. In fact these economically powerful group will overpower the  corrupt  political and  bureucratic  set  up  of these  countries  and  formulate  laws and actions in there favour as the economically powerful countries have done in the international arena. They may also add nationalistic fervour to these to befool and exploit the common man. They will pretend to carry the pride of the nation. This phenomenon is already visible in the Nano- Singur episode.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         This scenario can only make the rich in these countries richer and the poor poorer. The signs of the same is already visible in the world bank statistics which says that India houses one third of the worlds poor. This will become only worse leading to violent upheavals and social strife, which has already shown its face to some extent.

SCANNING

A long time since I wrote last time. I am increasingly becoming skeptical that anybody will read it. I do not have any misconception as to my ability in impressing people with my writing. I am aware I have my limitations and I do not want to take away anything from it. Is it ever possible to make ornaments with pure gold ? What is the use of pure gold except for giving a sense of illusive commercial value which keep on changing everyday at the whim of an invisible entity called market which conceals many faceless beings. The true value of it comes off when it glitters on a beauty enhancing her beauty and cumulating its value by its usefulness and contribution to the process. This only becomes a reality because of the slight impurity that binds it to make it malleable to  reflect the expression of the craftsman and makes it fit to adorn and beautify the body beautiful. In the world that we populate perhaps purity is too strong to fetch the approval of the discerning - too harsh like the glaring tropical midday sunlight in contrast to the beautiful midnight moonlight, soothing and cool, providing a landscape to the play of light and shade -dim yet expressive. It lends life to the lifeless - madness to the inert. It will be too careless to underestimate the strength of the mild. The strong can only make or break-creating awe and sorrow in its success and failure. It is the mild which tickles one with hope and aspiration. Its malleability allows it to mend without breaking and giving it the strength to survive as the underdog. Its success fills the heart of many  with  exhilaration and spirit to be hopeful - to keep trying irrespective of the weaknesses of human body, mind & spirit for the weak survive where the strong perish. The leaves of grass keeps on dancing when the big trees lay shattered - kissing the dust - in facing the tornado. May be because the weak are more knowledgeable of there weakness and try to optimize there possibilities without stretching too far from there core in the effort to maximize the results. The more you move out of the core, the more vulnerable you grow and as you move too far away enchanted by the siren's song you break the link with the core and get ambushed by the forces lurking unseen for the opportunity. Then you remember the cool and serene safety of the core - assuring and unassuming. It does not demand anything on you. It just wants you to be yourself - with all your impurity and purity, weakness and strength- a discovery of your true identity and organizing your world around it. No covering up, no concealing just plain acceptance of one's true self and building on it to improve and optimize. No pressure to move in any direction save the internal urge to excel. Peaceful and silent, static yet energetic like the electric lamp which shows the light by its own nature without having to do anything. Mundane yet special.         

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Torture at Ten

The telephone was ringing like the bell of the church. Santosh reached for it reluctantly. He does not want to pick it up. But he does not want to face the aftermath. It is sharp 10 on the wall-clock and he is sure it must be his boss. He wanted him to do a job, he had told him, not to whine. for that he has his dog he said. Santosh felt like throwing in his papers. But, he also do not want to look at the prospect of facing unemployment in middle age in a market where jobs are few and people running for them are many. He did not respond and feigned as if he has not heard him. The Boss will have none of it. "Did you hear what i said ? You better listen to it. I can't dismiss you because of these god-damn rules, but i will make it hot enough for stay." he said without any remorse.

Santosh was told to increase the business and double it in no time. He does not mind a challenge. In fact he is one of the best in his line for the company. But his Boss feels he can do better and he is not doing enough because he is lazy. He is running a twelve hour day for last three months. He remembered he has not talked to his wife privately during this period and he has talked more with his Boss than with his son. They no longer consider him part of the family. His son received best prize in debate in a prestigious competition and he came to know it from the calls of his friends. His son went with his mother to receive the award and did not want to disturb him. He did not know if he should be happy or sad. He thought he will take his son in embrace when he will come to home. He never had it that way. His son was in deep slumber when he found time to return home. But all this has not helped. The times are not good. The economy is taking a down turn and opportunities are far and few. He doggedly worked hoping for a break. The company has laid down people to see through the period and he has seen his team shrink to half its size.

He has tried to talk to his Boss about some replenishment of staff. "It is not in my hand. what can i do? I am not in board of directors who decide on recruitment. I am not taking it for non-performance. You better give result." He does not know how to respond and timidly shook his head in conformity.

The telephone gave another sharp ring. He picked up the receiver. It is his wife's tone. He felt let down after the hype of his thoughts. He almost felt disappointed. The shriek of his wife brought him back from reverie. " Son has met with an accident on his way to school. I don't know anything. His teacher rang up to say that he has been taken to hospital. I would not have disturbed you otherwise." There is shock, fear and apprehension in her sobbing voice. He had told her a week back that he can not get a day's leave to visit her ailing father as his Boss did not allow him.

She was waiting on the other side of the receiver apprehending a sharp rebuke but still waiting with half a hope that he will come to accompany her to the hospital. His Boss is coming to attend a meeting on performance review in an hour. He is supposed to receive him.

" Get something on. I am coming." He said and is surprised to hear his own voice. He took a glass of water. He rang up his Boss and told him he is going on leave to take care of his son. " Why don't you ask your wife to manage it. " He hung up, he no longer want any permission. He went off taking his vehicle. A new boldness has pervaded his being.

He was smiling at his son in the hospital. His wife was running her hand on the body of his son in fondness as tears were rolling down her cheek. The boy was smiling in spite of pain in his broken and plastered hand. He has got a prize. He was hoping against hope that his father will come. He looked around in pride to show this prized possession to his friends - his papa.

He was returning home with his son and wife. The timidity is again rising in him. He does not know what awaits him the next day. He thought of calling office. But some thing in him prevented. Tomorrow is another Day. He will face it tomorrow. For the time being he is happy, once in a long time. He wants to savor every moment of it. He does not know when will he get it again. He does not want any interruption any dilution. He looked into his rear view mirror to find his wife watching him.

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The Exorcist

I do not understand death. I do not think anybody does. So it is alternately painted with fearful black and romantic red hues. It is the same with God. We are never in harmony with God as we do not understand Him. May be for that in all religions God is invoked at the time of death. There seems to be a strong link generated out of the surprising resemblance. We love and hate them as they take the colors of our mind and follow the moods. Are they mere projections of mind !

God may be. I am not sure if you can convert him into the physical time-space zone and feel him. Many highly respected persons have tried to entice people into the Godly path with the promise of Vision of Him. It is widely believed that Swami Vivekananda turned to religion after Sri Ramakrishna showed him God. I don't know how to take it. It is almost blasphemous to question it. But then it is equally disrespectful to Swamijee's teachings not to question it, for the Veda have taught us not to accept anything without testing , and Swamijee taught the Vedic thoughts.In any case I am not inclined to believe that you can see God, till it is proved otherwise. I do not have any authority to give a verdict on the debate. But why should I try it. To each let there be his own thought. What we are principally concerned is how it affects us and not otherwise. To the best of my knowledge God does not affect us unless we attribute actions to him.

However death is different. It annihilates and recreates. It has physical manifestation. Just remember when 400 odd persons in fanatic frenzy destroyed the Babri Mosque before its time only to see it create a ghost which is haunting much after its destruction. See how Lincoln & John F. Kennedy haunt the American psyche. And how Mahatma Gandhi,Mrs. Indira Gandhi & Rajiv Gandhi haunt the Indian  psyche.  Clearly  whenever life is squeezed out before it flows out, death creates a ghost much more powerful than the living. This is the stuff Matyrs are made off, the creations of death.

Yet,  people are  killed only to create ghosts which haunt with much more vigor. Swami  Laxmanananda  was killed the other day.An old person who would have traveled into the territory of death anytime. He has been pushed into it brutally before time. A begining has been made.The unspent balance of energy is taking shape. It has started to haunt much beyond the territory he was working in. It meanders through the forests and spreads with the breeze to haunt a vast area with sorrow, revenge, pain, terror,shock and fear. The dark clouds are gathering at the horizon with all the fury of a tornado. Let the killers be killed, but who will save the innocent.We need an exorcist. Is any body raising his hand !

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DEATH

He is to retire in a year. A family of four and more. He keeps everybody around him happy with his hilarious jokes punctuated with high throated laughs. People just  love his company. It is not the least surprising to find him at the center of his family with everybody rallying round. His home is more of a hostel. Always some near and dear ones find it easy to stay with him for some time. He enjoys it immensely.
He considered himself lucky as he was nearing the retirement. His son has joined in a job. He was on the look for a match for his daughter. He has built a house of his own. He even purchased a car a few days back. A fulfillment by common middle class standards has set in. Why should he not feel happy ? He has made investments on people and all of them love him. What more he needs with love around and needs away?
When you feel contented perhaps a seed of disaster starts to grow. I remember my wife  warning  me whenever I laugh heartily for prolonged period  to stop it for otherwise some disaster strike may make me cry. Thats the way of life she says. There is always a balance. The more  you laugh the more you have to cry.
This morning his son took out the vehicle and went to enjoy  his time with his friends. They were to return by evening. Instead the news came that they have met with an accident. He waited in front of the hospital with his friends to take him to the doctor without wasting any time. Arrangements were made to take him to better facilities in case there is a need. The ambulance came in with the injured friends and the dead body of his son. The world crumbled. His friends stood around him helplessly. The cries of his daughter and wife ringed around. He felt something welling up in him. A nausea took over. He felt nothing. The world around him dimmed and moved around in caricature. His eyes remained still and focussed. Yet he saw nothing.
He was merely sensing the brittleness of everything around him. He is not sure where to move as nothing looked solid. A hollowness has entered into whatever is visible making them brittle. He is the laughing Buddha in mourning- stunned and fixed in time and space. No one knows where his steps will lead him next. He is in no man's corridor.   

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Buying A Laptop

My friend wanted to buy a laptop for the specific requirement that he wants to work in it lying on his bed. No PC can give it. A fairly good and honest assessment of his requirements. he knows that i am looking to buy a laptop for nearly two years and in the meanwhile  i have read many a reviews on most of the models available. I have not been able to make up my mind yet. But many of my friends have purchased one without much inquiry and are in love with there impulsively purchased pieces. I am still without one and i won't be surprised if i purchased a note-book by impulse. But like all failures in poetry writing i have become a good adviser in PC purchase.

Most of the companies are in the market with fixed feature models except for Dell which allows configuring by the customer. For normal browsing, listening to songs and watching films the entertainment models just manage the show. Rarely you will find good sound quality in these machines. the contrast is not that tempting nor is the protection available to the machines for working in dust and humid conditions we get here. Add to it the acutely inconsiderate after sell service, high rate of AMC and cost of insurance. If it is not enough to think hard the two and half hours of battery life and 1.5 kg and plus weight  o␀f most of these machines is disuading enough.
To reduce the cost most of the companies are proving low processing power chips (both CPU and GPU). While Dell allows configuring by the customer the time gap between placing an order and delivery is two to four weeks in most cases. The sales team of Dell is snobis and not very helpful.
Hence it is still a difficult task to purchase a laptop. Yet you want to buy it lest you are left out. However the recent  entry of low cost models placed in between palmtop and laptop with 8 to 10 inch screenes along with a Desk top solves the problem of mobility as well as storage. The cost will be almost the same. May be that will be the solution.
But them what about the rapid development in chips and softwares ? May be it will be better to wait further. May be next year will be the right tine. Let us wait amd see.    

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My Son

There he goes. His silhouette receding  against the backdrop of the city sky. A full six feet young body ambling out with the arrogance of youth and the beauty of youth, a carefree being reaching out to an unknown world in curious adventure. He walks gingerly with occasional furtive glances towards the window of my house at his back. He is unable to see me as i am inside the house without the lights on in the slowly darkening evening. But he is aware of my presence some where there watching him. He is yet to be a full grown man, but he has left the child far away while retaining the child like spontaneity to which he has added the over confidence of youth. The caution of the old is far off.
I almost felt nostalgic. A sweet yet bitter pain raising its head in my heart. I felt bad that he is going out to the college after a short stay with us. But I did not felt like stooping him. Yet I miss him. I felt him as a small kid pushing his chin in my chest and giving that happy enigmatic smile which makes you so happy. I feel the pride of a father as he walks out today on his own as a confident young man. But i am not as happy as I was on the earlier occasion. May be i longed to get him as a child always. May be I will love him as a child always, even when he grows to bigger size and bigger stature and give me a helping hand in my walk when I struggle to  carry my load of years.
Is this the way all feel when there little kid steps out to the college ? Is it the way all the fathers of kids well up inside ? How they envy the mothers who can shed the tears and express themselves while the pride and years of image building makes them turn away dismissively while watching the proceedings from some concealed spot ? Does my son know this ? How does he see me- as a cold and hard task master or a kind and tender human being buried under a hard mask created by the practices and brainwashing of ages which he is not courageous enough to shed nor good enough to accept.

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The STRIKE

Strike days are funny days in a worker's life. It is like punishing yourself for not being able to prevent somebody from doing some thing you do not approve. You waste your time straining your vocal chord in slogan shouting and end up loosing the day's pay. The employer looses a day's business earnings apart from the tension. Hence it is a winless game. At the end of the day both the sides carry the hurt. How can it work ? It can only work provided both the sides are civilized and cultured enough to feel the hurt on the other side. Can we expect today's money spinning owners and politicalised workers to do it ?

If not it boil down to a proxy war wherein each player tries to do the maximum hurt to the other side hoping to bring him on the kneels. Do not forget they will have to continue working together under the same roof for a considerable length of time after it. How is it going to affect the relationship there after ? Is it going to be forgotten like a family fight ? Will everything be just as it was before it ? Won't it transform them to worse ?

Yet, it is normal to find people toiling hard to reach settlements only after the strike and not before it. Each side feels any attempt at resolution will show them as weak. Is it because people lack self-confidence and look too much for approval to the gallery ?

Does it make them look silly or funny ? How to describe them when they are highly educated, skilled and well-respected in the society as front rankers in there line of trade and indulge in this game and hurt the bystanders in the process ? Why is it that the workers are always seen as the villian of the piece, whenever such a scene occurs ? Should it not be the responsibility of the powerful owners to stop it especially when they take credit for maintaining good industrial relation in good-times.